Trapped

Help!!

My mother worked at the Greenville Hospital when I was growing up. My mother soon was fired/laid off from her job after my parents divorced. I don't remember exactly what happened, but I know my mother wasn't happy about this at all. She was determined to get unemployment though. It must have been summer time because my mother had prepared us all day for this extremely important phone call she was going to receive. My sister and I were both at home and had promised we would be tremendously quiet so we didn't disturb her while she was on the phone. The phone call finally came! She went to her bedroom and told us to stay at the other end of the house. We were perfect, without one disturbance, until I had to use the bathroom. I went to our bathroom and shut the door. I finished using the bathroom and walked to the door to open it. The door didn’t open or even budge. The door knob, which was an old antique style knob, was stuck. The knob wouldn’t move at all. Scared to scream I tried to get out quietly for awhile. Still nothing happened and by this time I was panicking. Our bathroom had no window and the small space seemed to be closing in on me. I knew I couldn’t disturb my mother who was still on the phone in a six way conversation. I then realized that it was up to my little sister to get me out of the bathroom. I knocked on the door quietly and called for Sierra. She came to the door with great concern. She tried to get the door open from the outside for awhile but nothing was working. By this point I had been in the bathroom for about 20 minutes which felt like an hour. I started getting really worried because who knew how long my mother would be on the phone. I sat by the door and talked to my sister for a while, trying to devise a plan to get me out. I finally told her to go get Mom. She went, but came back and told me Mom was not coming. Mom had told her to get out of her bedroom and be quiet. Sierra then went to the kitchen and got some grapes. She pulled them off one by one and rolled them under the door, so I would not get hungry. By this time, I had been trapped for about 30 minutes and starvation was setting in. Haha I ate all the grapes like I had not eaten in days, then told Sierra that she had to find a way to get me out. I explained to her that she must go to the garage and find a hammer. She quickly ran outside and found a hammer. She came to the door and said, “Savanna, I got a hammer! Now what do you want me to do?” I told her to hit the door knob with the hammer as hard as she could. She was a little reluctant at first considering my mother was still on the phone. I assured her this was the only way though. All of a sudden...BAM, BAM, BAM! My sister hit the door knob about three good times and the door came open. I knew by the sound that was coming from the other side of the door that Sierra wasn't playing around! I looked at her as she had saved my whole life. Then I realized she had a small sledge hammer in her hand! She had hit the door knob pretty hard considering what the knob looked liked. She was only five or six years old at the time. I realized how important I was to her that day. My mother came flying out of her bedroom to see what we had torn up. She looked at us, made sure we were not bleeding then returned quickly to her phone call. Needless to say, my mother didn’t get unemployment and my stepdad was not too pleased with his banged up door knob. We didn’t get in any trouble because we told the story just like it had happened. All they could do was try to keep from laughing. I think of this from time to time when my kids are in trouble for doing crazy things. What would I do if my kids brought a sledge hammer in and hit a door knob with it? Most likely I would just laugh. What else would there be to do? I know that I was safe in the bathroom that day and by no means was hungry. I look back now and know it was just the door separating me from my sister that freaked me out. I was always the one who was the protector. This time I was trapped in the bathroom and felt helpless. How many times in life do we feel like we are trapped and unable to fix a situation? For me I feel this all the time, especially with my kids. They are right there on the other side of the door, and all I can do is give verbal advise or be quiet. Those are the only two options, when all I want is the sledge hammer to use myself. I think God gives us all these situations in life so others can shine. My sister felt like a hero that day. She didn't care about getting in trouble at all. She saved me! I was always the "fixer" and that day she got to fix! With these foster babies, I want to shake their parents at times! I want to take these babies far away where they never have to be subjected to neglect again. But guess what? I don't get to do that! My job is to stay calm, sit quietly on the other side of the door, and love as much as I can in the time I'm given. Is it hard to give up the hammer and not be the fixer? Oh YES!! The only way I'm able to do this is because I know God is the ultimate fixer. I know we were called to be foster parents, but I wasn't called to be the "fixer." I was only called to Love on Borrowed Time!